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Every guy wants to perform well between the sheets—and the start-stop technique just might help you to do just that if you’re looking to last longer.
Do you routinely find yourself reaching climax sooner than you or your partner want? Well, practicing the edging technique during masturbation or sex can help you last longer in bed.
A lot of guys find that the edging method (also called the 'start-stop method'), is an excellent place to begin for addressing bedroom performance.
It’s a fairly easy exercise in which you take control of ejaculation just before you reach the brink of orgasm. Think of it simply as:
Many men find the edging method to be a bit frustrating at first, but once you get the hang of it, you just might find that it enhances your sexual enjoyment and performance.
This technique relies heavily on self-control. It's up to you to know the right time to stop all sexual stimulation and take a short breather.
In this article, we’ll cover the basics of this technique. If you follow this step-by-step method, you will likely find that you can last longer with your partner than ever before. Before we begin, let's cover the most frequently asked questions about edging.
Edging is a technique practiced by men to delay reaching orgasm during intercourse or masturbation. Think of it like getting close to the point of no return and then stopping all stimulation completely.
It can be done during solo masturbation or with a partner. Pleasure yourself as normal and as soon as you feel you are 95% of the way to reaching ejaculation stop. Wait 30 seconds to 1 minute (or until the urge to ejaculate goes away) and start again.
The basic idea behind the stop-start technique is that once a guy hits a certain level of sexual arousal, there is no going back.
This level of stimulation is sometimes referred to as ‘the point of no return’—a period of high sexual excitement that eventually culminates in orgasm. The start-stop method aims to reduce sexual stimulation just before reaching that point.
Take a look at the first chart below.
As you can see, there are four different phases that men usually go through during a sexual encounter.
Now, take a look at this second chart, which shows what men with premature ejaculation experience during sex.
Do you notice the difference?
There’s no plateau phase. These men reach orgasm in a much shorter period.
The objective of the start-stop method is to help guys take control of the timing of their orgasms. Perfecting this technique allows men to delay orgasm by effectively creating their level of sustained, sub-orgasmic excitement.
Step 1: Time Block
Block out 30 minutes when you won't be disturbed. Get into bed and begin to masturbate as usual.
Start by maintaining a firm grip and steady rhythm, nothing too aggressive. Your goal is simply to build up the level of stimulation slowly.
Step 2: Recognize
When you start to recognise any of the indicators of climax, stop immediately.
In the beginning, it is better to err on the side of pausing too early rather than waiting until it is too late.
As you get more experienced, you can push the timing to the very edge—to the point of no return.
Step 3: HOLD!
Pause until the urge to climax completely goes away. This can take several seconds or as long as a minute, and that’s okay.
Don't resume masturbation, even if you notice a slight decrease in erection firmness. If it helps, try taking slow, deep breaths to calm yourself.
Step 4: Next Round
Once you feel like you’re in control, begin to masturbate again.
Try to repeat the above steps 4-5 times before finally allowing yourself to climax.
Don't feel frustrated if it takes multiple sessions before you can prevent yourself from reaching an orgasm immediately.
Step 5: Mastery
After numerous sessions, you'll probably begin to notice more prolonged periods between when you first get your erection and when you experience ejaculation.
If you find that you’re having trouble with the above, explore different masturbation techniques. For example, you might try masturbating without lube in order to reduce sensation.
Over time, you will learn to gain ejaculatory control and rediscover the plateau stage.
You will need to talk to your partner before trying the start-stop method during sex because they need to be an active participant in it.
Make sure your partner is completely supportive of the process before trying it with them.
Step 2: Teamwork
Both of you must take it slow from the beginning. Aggressive or intense foreplay may cause you to reach your limit early on. So, go easy.
At this point, you should also decide on a “safeword” or signal to indicate that you are on the verge of orgasm. This will let your partner know when to stop stimulation.
Step 3: Start Slow
Instead of jumping straight into intercourse, start by asking your partner to stimulate you manually.
For men with severe cases of PE, simply having your penis stroked by your partner may be enough to reach the point of no return.
If you feel like you are going to orgasm, use your signal to tell your partner to stop.
Step 4: Cool The Jets
Wait until the feeling goes away completely. Then ask your partner to continue to stimulate you by hand. Continue this process until you find that you can last for a couple of minutes.
You shouldn't expect this to happen on the first try, so don't feel bad if it takes a while to get there.
This is a learning process. And if you climax sooner than you want, don't let that be the end of sex—pay attention to your partner’s needs, too, whether that means stimulating them by hand or with your mouth.
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The stop-start technique does indeed work for some people, but it is not a cure-all for every guy.
According to a study published in the journal Sexual Medicine, this technique does not offer across-the-board relief for guys when it comes to bedroom performance.
However, due to the ease and cost-free aspects of this option, it is something worth trying.
However, if you give it the old college try and you still can't control your climaxes, it may be time to move on to alternatives.
There are lots of different methods for treating PE, ranging from topical desensitizing sprays to condoms and exercise.
If you are looking for more tips to last longer in bed, you might want to try out one or more of these alternatives:
Using a condom can help decrease the sensitivity of the penis, thus increasing a man’s chances of lasting longer; however, it may take a bit of experimentation to get this to work well for you.
If you are already wearing a condom but it’s not helping with PE, you may want to try one that's thicker. Thicker condoms are typically sold as "extra safe" or "extra strength." This wording is saying that the condom is thicker than normal, which is likely to decrease sensation.
Still not doing the trick? You can also try condoms with pre-applied numbing gel on the inside.
However, be aware that some people who use condoms with numbing gel report too much of a general numbing sensation. Also, these condoms need to be applied very carefully to ensure the numbing agent doesn’t affect your partner.
Instead of depending on a numbing condom that affects the entire penis, you can opt to pinpoint the most sensitive areas with delay spray or delay cream.
The advantage of this over other methods is that delay sprays are easy to apply when and where you want, and you can decide how much to use. It is a very personalized treatment that has been clinically shown to work on demand and when you need it most.
When using delay spray, transference to the partner is minimal and condoms aren’t needed if you and your partner prefer not to use them or don’t require them for contraceptive purposes.
Some guys don't feel comfortable with the start-stop technique approach to control ejaculation. For example, they may find that this is annoying or awkward. If so, you may prefer to use the squeeze method instead.
Many people only think of Kegel exercises as something that women do to tone and strengthen their pelvic floor following childbirth.
However, research shows that they are also a great way for men who experience premature ejaculation issues to gain greater control of their orgasms. Unlike the squeeze technique or the stop-start method, Kegel exercises are not performed during sexual activity.
Performing Kegel exercises is easy, and it only takes a few minutes per day.
First, you need to learn which muscles to focus your attention on. You can find these muscles by trying to stop urinating midstream.
Once you identify the muscles, one way to do a simple Kegel exercise is to tighten and hold those muscles for a five-second count. Do this ten times in a row, two to three times per day, and you are well on your way to improving your sex life.
This overview just covers the basics of Kegel exercises.
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Edging, also known as the start-stop method, is one of many tools available to help you enjoy longer-lasting sex with your partner. It’s a fairly easy exercise that can be practiced alone before jumping in bed with a partner or significant other.
It takes a lot of self-control, however.
It’s important to be in tune with your body and to learn the sensations you experience just before climax. Once you know what these signs are, you’ll need to stop all stimulation to avoid climax.
Pause for as long as needed for the sensation to subside.
This is a good time to switch positions or master your foreplay techniques. After all, even if you can last within the normal time range for the male orgasm (5-6 minutes), you’ll still be several minutes short of the average length of time it takes women to reach orgasm.
Give the start-stop method a shot and see if it works for you. If it doesn’t, the good news is that there are plenty of other options you can try to build your bedroom performance and stamina.
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